Alright. Let’s just say it upfront: This post is not for everyone.
If you are here looking for some quick-fix solution to a life problem, then look away. Caz we are going to break down a few important things that relate to men, but it is gonna get a bit rough.
But we will guarantee you one thing, once you are through with this post, you will either discover a way forward out of whatever challenge you are facing or at least will have some idea of what steps you ought to take next.
Things are Bad… Is it Time to Throw in the Towel?
In recent times, besides the news that Elon Musk has bought Twitter and is set to unleash a new era of transparency and freedom of thought (one could hope), there has been little in terms of good news for the average citizen (in the West) to savour.
Of course, that is assuming you find yourself on a certain end of the political spectrum. Caz for a lot of others in the space, a tech billionaire taking over the prominent but controversial social media site is just more bad news.
But… Presuming you are a hot-blooded guy who is just trying to make his way in difficult times, a person who is trying to find himself in a changing world, discover his chosen niche, and make a meaningful contribution to society and be rewarded for his efforts, the idea of being able to express yourself freely is likely to be a hot item on your list.
But is that enough? What is enough really? Speaking of good news, or positive changes that are worth celebrating, what sort of thing, or changes that are taking place should cut it?
For if you are a stone-cold realist like us, when you look around the world you notice that there isn’t much to celebrate: From rampant inflation, the war in Ukraine, poor governance, and if you are into such stuff, the effects produced by a changing climate.
In addition to these one can throw in the numerous challenges men are facing, particularly in the formative years of their lives: from the lack of healthy male role models, unconducive academic environments that favour conformity and punish error and experimentation, an increasingly pro-feminine social sphere that seeks to normalise everything under the headings ‘equality’, whilst paying little attention to the particular, unique demands of men (well provided that they are not heterosexual).
And let’s not even get started about the difficulties men are having when it comes to not just succeeding but simply getting by in the marketplace.
In a rapidly changing world, where technology is altering the way we learn, work and connect, not to mention the changes brought forth by a certain pandemic from a few years ago, whose impacts still continue to affect, limit and for some haunt the waking moments of their lives.
And throw into this mix the historical challenges that most men have faced in the domestic sphere: From one-sided family laws, the legal framework concerning divorce and alimony payments that effectively encourages women to divorce, with often the children being taken away from the life of the man.
Ooh boy! With all of this negativity around, and we are just talking about their external character, if you are a man who is actually undergoing these challenges then that’s something else.
So the question is what should men do? What CAN we do? This is a question a lot of men of ask. And rightly so. The world is not only filled with so much negativity but it appears to be downright hostile to men. Particularly, and we will win no politically correct points for saying this, for heterosexual men.
This takes us nicely to the next point: The troubles men are having in the dating and relationships market.
Enter the Pills
You know, one can always wonder how it would be if things had turned out differently.
What if traditional values of masculinity, responsibility and stoicism never went out of fashion? That feminism was never a thing (particularly the kind that is hostile to men), and that romantic relationships played out the way they did in our imagination.
One can sure wish!
But by that token one could also wonder: What had the 2007 financial crises not taken place? What if the 2020 election (for certain voters) went a different way? Or how my life would be if that damned virus never got out of that bloody city in a certain part of the world that we will not mention!?
The point is, in life, there is only that much we can control as groups and especially as individuals. If anything the best we can do when faced with hostile realities in life, and the many conflicts within ourselves; is to work on ourselves and seek to improve and grow in order to face the challenges of life head-on.
A point we shall return to.
But in the face of many of these shifts, many of them are generally not the most conducive to men, particularly in the dating and sex arena. For this is the place where many of the ill effects that men have been facing most strongly manifest.
It is telling but not surprising that men who are struggling to make it in life, find the greatest difficulty when it comes to women.
Since one of the key markers of success in a man’s life is his ability to succeed with women.
Look for any loser or the infamous mother’s basement dweller, and you are likely to find a bloke who sucks with women: No girlfriend (s), no active social circle, with a single-digit lay count, or none at all.
But thankfully we have a number of good Samaritans who have stepped up to help men deal with these challenges. Or do we?
Before we start, it has to be said is not our attention to give these groups undue attention. Rather the aim is to shed light on what these guys are doing and the effects they have-often harmful-on minds of predominantly young men, who are looking for a way out in their lives.
The Red Pill – Hate Women
The subject of the red pill and the problems associated with it was engaged in a specific post. Which we will encourage you to look at.
Here will narrow down the problem with the red pill movement, in relation to the effects it has on men’s ability to relate to women.
The core of the red pill philosophy is that women hold much of the power in society. Which is a function of women’s control of the sexual marketplace as the ‘selectors’. As women control the gateway to sex, it automatically puts men on a weaker footing, since women pick only the ‘winners’.
That is to say, only the men who do well in the marketplace. And when it comes to men, their success in the mating/dating market is a function of their social status and economic standing (i.e. how much money they have or can make).
But since a lot of men don’t manage to succeed in life (i.e. make it to the top 1 – 10 per cent) it leaves a majority of low-value men searching for the love and attention of women. And since women only pick the top guys, most guys end up by the wayside.
This is what red pill guys mean when they speak of hypergamy: that is the premium that women place on status and wealth. And in turn, this makes women view men as a whole negatively as sex. Since women only care about wealth and status, at the core they don’t care for the well-being of men.
This view is reinforced by the dominance of feminism in the modern world. Where the legal and social environment (particularly in the West) caters strongly to one sex over the other.
So coupled with the inherent dominance that women are supposed to have due to their biology, their pursuit of men purely for money and security, and the fact that there are lot of low-value men around, means that men just have it tough.
The trouble with the red pill is not so much the analysis as it contains a number of, at least at the surface level, valid points. But rather the kind of mindset it is perpetuating.
For if one looks at some of the recommendations that the red pill philosophy makes: on self-improvement, having self-respect, and recognizing the fact women value status and money (pretty basic stuff when you think about it), one would think these are reasonable points. Caz they are!
However, the trouble is that the manner in which these points are articulated, and the manner in which women as a sex are portrayed causes men to distrust and over time, dislike women. According to the red pill, the problem is not so much what women do with their lives that, but who women are as a group.
This is potentially dangerous. But what is undeniable and in many ways, an inevitable consequence of this way of thinking is that men come to view their place in the world apart from that of women.
A very real side effect of this woman = bad, men = victims is the temptation to pursue a life without women: that is to reject the love, connection and intimacy that comes with it.
Now, this is not the place to explore this particular point. However, its significance must be acknowledged.
When it comes to men and women, one must recognize the many benefits a man stands to gain by forming a meaningful connection with women. And here we are not just talking about getting better at seduction and raking up a high lay count.
Important as these things are what equally matters, in the mid to long run is the support and strength that men gain by forming a meaningful connection with women.
The red philosophy, where women are made out to be this hostile force, who is harbouring an agenda against men, with the view that society as a whole is working to keep men down (not entirely far from the truth) leads to this poisonous ideology of doubt, anger and inaction.
The whole business of men going their own way (MGTOW) can be seen as a side-effect of the red pill philosophy.
Worse, by taking this route, men stand to lose out on, not only the benefits of connecting with women meaningfully but also the personal development that it requires.
So what is to be done? Well before we answer this, there is another ‘pill’ that we need to dissect. Whose effects are in many ways worse?
The Black Pill – Hate Yourself
The black pill community essentially grew out of the dark (no pun intended) underbelly of the red pill movement.
The black pill movement, whilst recognizing the competitive character of the dating and relationship market: one where women do much of the selecting. Where social status and economic power of men are key factors that determine success.
However, the black pill takes things to the next (or lower) level by advocating the importance or rather the supremacy of looks in the dating market. The black pill philosophy essentially preaches the idea that a man’s innate qualities: face, race, height, and hairs are the be-all and end-all when it comes to dating and attraction.
Women will always pick men who look good and then consider secondary factors that relate to status, money etc. This view has gotten some support with the rise of online dating.
Dating apps, which are heavily titled in favour of one sex (guess), leave significant gender imbalance. As we have the case where women, who are usually outnumbered by a ratio of around 4: 1 (1), it is natural that the cards are stacked in favour of women.
When it comes to dating and courtship, how a person looks is naturally going to rank higher in the preference scales. The trouble with the black pill is that these and other superficial shows of interest that women admittedly give men who are better looking have fed this view of looks as king!
So much so, that the black pill community has now become something of a full-blown movement occupying various spaces on the internet. And have come to attract a sizzle and potentially growing followership.
The trouble with the black pill is that, if you start with the idea that looks are everything (including height) then it means that men, a vast majority of men, based on the weird criteria that its advocates use, will not only be left out. But in theory, will have no chance of succeeding with women.
This is a serious matter. Especially in a time when men are desperately looking for outlets not just for dating advice, but for moral and personal support, to help overcome a range of challenges in their everyday lives.
Worse, the black pill in turn has given rise to, quite logically it would seem, a parallel movement. A movement where men. not only come to reject women but ultimately themselves.
The idea of self-worth is an essential component in shaping a person’s identity. If you hate yourself then you are pretty much done for. If you can’t lift yourself up then no one will.
With the black pill philosophy that argues that all is lost for men who are not white, have blonde hair and are over six feet tall (this is an exaggeration, but you get the point) it logically leads to a lot of men who end up hating themselves and hate life in general.
And if one follows down this road, it doesn’t need to be stated where this is headed.
Things Seem Hopeless
In life, there is no limit to the number of things to complain, worry and brood over.
If think hard enough about these things, very soon one can get drawn into an endless spiral of doubt, anxiety, fear, regret and hopelessness.
The lack or the loss of hope is one problem that unifies all of these negative philosophies that men, modern men in the West are being drawn into.
Those who advocate rejection, and escapism from the problems of life, whether it is money, women, or social recognition are not viewed under the framework of problem–solution. But as fixed unchanging social realities which are beyond a person’s control. One must accept and then react, often (in the case of the black pill and MGTOW) by doing the opposite of what is needed.
The result?! A lot of angry, dejected, lost young men. Who is NOT making things better? For themselves or the the world.
If one is to look at the statistics from suicides, incarcerations, homelessness, and unemployment and now you mix in what men are going through at a personal level, things start to make more sense. Negatively!
So where does that leave us? Well, it all be for nothing if we just stopped at this point. But thankfully we won’t.
The Answer: The Mindset Solution
Concern yourself with what you can control.
If we are to summarize the solution to the troubles that ail men across the West, and maybe even the world, it would come down to this: take control of your problems by taking control of your life.
Look, there is only that much you can do to change the way women think: their mating preferences and their choice of long-term partners.
There is only that much you can do when it comes to combating inflation. Well besides getting a better or high-paying job, or moving to a country with low inflation.
When it comes to your look, there is little that you can do, if it's a question of height, skin colour and other immutable traits. But what you can do is hit the gym. Workout religiously. Eat healthily.
When it comes to all the negativity that is going in the world: whether it is the war in Ukraine, crime in the inner cities, or bad weather. What you can do is accept reality for what it is, and work to make things better in areas where you can.
But doing so is easier said than done. Making a change for the better does not just happen because one thinks it is so.
Good things don’t happen to men who sit around and wait for things to happen.
Getting your dating life on track: whether it be having greater access to women, or simply losing your v-card, nothing happens without you choosing to take action.
But if the right action is the answer, then why aren’t many men doing it? What is stopping guys who are struggling in various areas of their lives from rising up and making things happen?
The answer is manifold. But the source of the problem is the same. It is the mindset.
There is a famous entrepreneur and motivational speaker, and investor, whose tagline is: ‘Get your Money Right’.
Well, ours is a simple but arguably more significant one: ‘Get your Mindset Right.
If you want to: that is to fix the many problems, challenges, hurdles and whatever obstacles you may face in your life: women, money, confidence, fitness, we can help you overcome them. We have a solution.